In the spirit of identifying and implementing Firm efficiencies, the following standard tickmarks should be used to respond to frequently encountered review points.

A You might consider reading my explanation in the work papers.

B When I get a realistic budget, I’ll perform the program steps.

c How far in the ground would you like me to beat this subject? Should I contact Alan Greenspan, how ’bout FASB headquarters, maybe God, yeah God oughta know?

d Webster defines immaterial as: «that which does not matter, not pertinent, unimportant.»

e Perhaps materiality is assessed too low. Then again YOU assessed it.

f You must have «discussed this» with someone else.

g Noted, for next year. (I’m not really interested in this year, and will probably be working somewhere else next year).

h Sorry, I thought it was your job to review the work.

i Frankly, it never crossed my mind.

j You make the assumption that the client has a basic knowledge of accounting.

k You make the assumption that I have a basic knowledge of accounting.

l Forgive me for having a hangover on Sunday morning. Even though my
face is green, I’ll still bleed tickmark red.

m I’m certain this is an isolated error. Further work is NOT necessary.

n My training class was different. We never covered this subject.

o For all manager questions that begin with «Why…»: Yes, I will find the answer to that question, just as I will build a rocket ship and explore
the face of Mars.

p YOU told me to do it like this, and though I find your indecision amusing, if you want it changed again, «You da man!»

q Of course I agree this explanation is not reasonable — so I’ll just tell the Controller that he’s a lying bastard and that we are recommending
a major SEC investigation.

r You said foot within reason, I thought a difference of $2 million was
reasonable.

s But that’s what YOU did last year.

t Screw off. I have a standing job offer in the industry.

u Because this place is a shit hole. You know that and I know that. The friggin’ controller knows that. The truth is that there is no friggin’ way we’ll ever find all of the crap that they’ve hung up in the balance sheet,except maybe if we recover about 12%. You really don’t want that, do you?!?!

v But where is the risk?? Why should I give a shit??

w Because all of the assholes who did the job last year left, and left me with nothing but a pissed off controller. That’s why.

x If you knew the freakin’ answer to begin with, why didn’t you clue me in on it before the client ripped my skull off.

y I fucked up, that’s why. Next.